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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Day 58: There And Back Again

Last day of the epic Alaska adventure. Woke up and got on the road with my father. Tired, still reeling a little from the previous night's head injury, sitting in an awkward silence that is the most familiar sound of time spent with him. Slept through New Hampshire and most of Connecticut. Roads I've known all my life, worn dull with use. Detoured to New York City to go to a massive Japanese grocery store there, my father's favorite treat. He always did advocate eating well. Then the last big push through New Jersey to catch a stunning sunset over the bridge as we crossed back into my home state, Delaware.

Get off the highway. Pull down the driveway. Greet the cat. And, exhale a vast and lengthy sigh of unpacking. The tires of my car visibly perking up as their load of the last two months was lightened. Reorganizing my belongings back into their old places. And at first the only difference I can notice from my life before is that tomorrow is tuesday, but I don't have to go to work. I am unemployed. Oh great goodness, I am unemployed.

As evening grew long, I started sifting through the over a thousand photos I had taken. Listening to Bob Dylan and Neil Young on repeat, letting my mind space as my eyes focused on the computer screen. Imperceptibly I developed the initial inklings of change. I think I am more supple now. Probably less scared. If I'm lucky, more patient. Not happier exactly, but closer to understanding the deep velvety secrets to my own happiness. Not found, but at least no longer on the wrong path, which I suspect is the first step to getting on the right one. Certainly more sated. I set out to achieve some big life goals, and did just that. It feels good to be living my life more fully and deliberately. And, I may just know myself a little better.

I'm home for a few days before going back to Maine for a real vacation, and then down to Lewes, Delaware to spend time with my mother. I think I'll also take a vacation from posting. I plan to return to my regular columns once I've rested and relaxed up. Beach bound!
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